Kerry Marshall delves into the Heart of the fertility patient
Women trying for a baby are one of the most compliant motivated patients I treat. Navigating through the abundant information about Fertility available to us can lead to a sense of control and knowledge, but in lots of cases confusion and overwhelm. What works for one person may not be the answer for you. In all the action of DOING the right things to get pregnant it is easy to forget how to BE still and listen to your hearts wisdom. It may be that exploring your inner landscape is where you find some answers to YOUR fertility.
I have seen many patients DOING all the advice out there yet are still not pregnant. I ask “How is your heart.” This question most often initiates tears which I encourage and respect. Sitting and just BEING in this space can allow for honest feelings to be voiced and heard. The Woman who has tried to conceive for a while is strong and resilient and I am often in awe of her ability to cope with challenges. But where does the pain, disappointment and fear hide? Has it been processed, transformed and released with lessons learnt or is it locked inside for nobody not even herself to see and feel.
BEING with yourself and exploring the darker secrets of your heart can be confronting. Facing the realities of your present challenge, being vulnerable and letting them go isn’t a walk in the park (more like a run in a scary woods). With the right support or even going down this path on your own can lead to moving stagnant energy, releasing old beliefs that do not exist today and freeing painful emotions.
Below are some questions you may like to ponder to start the process. Some of these may ignite a charge, feel prickly or trigger you. They may also remind you of the excitement or hope that you felt when you first embarked on creating a family. You may have the desire to write some of your thoughts down especially the sticky ones.
- ‘Why’ do you want a baby?
- What held beliefs about having a baby or more children do you have?
- Are they the same as your partners?
- Do they need to be reassessed?
- Have you made choices in your life that have led you to this challenge?
- Have you taken responsibilities for those choices?
- Are you yearning, brooding, desperate or fearful to be a mother?
- Are you fearful or panicking about not becoming a mother?
- Do you and or your partner really want to become parents? Are you doing it because you should?
- What brings you happiness independent of being pregnant?
- Are you comfortable with your own company?
I invite you to now do an exercise I teach in clinic. Rub your hands together fast to create heat and friction. When warm place one on your left chest and one over your lower belly. In Chinese Medicine this is a channel called the Bai Mai, it connects a women internally from her heart to her womb space. Here is an opportunity to BE present and listen to your bodies needs.
When consulting with my fertility patients I like to explore all areas of their health. It is not always one factor that is preventing conception. Couples present at different stages of their journey and require different plans, advice and treatment.
Finding the right balance between DOING and just BEING can allow you to be more present and engaged in YOUR fertility.
Kerry is available for consultation at Mornington Chinese Medicine on Tuesdays and Fridays.
To book please call 5973 6886.